Prep time

As I'm writing this I'm in the middle of my colonoscopy prep. I don't remember it being this awful last time! First of all the prep is nastyyyyy and second I can't get off the toilet enough to finish the damn stuff! Ugh :( today I got really dizzy and weak at work probably from no food. I jut want this all to end. And I'm pretty sure I can't feel my butt at the moment.

I have a wonderful announcement!

I am having another colonoscopy next week! Yay! Partytime!

..............................................no.

So, with no time to think or fret I have been booked for a scope in a week's time. A week!! grrrrrr. I am back on the lovely antibiotics Cipro & Flagyl for a week. Last time I took those they caused awful nausea that make me want to be sick all over my pillows while I tried to sleep. Even more yay! But seriously, atleast it's better than prednisone. I also got some pills to help with the cramping.

Inflammation is just hanging out, not increasing or decreasing. I think it's purpose in life is to confuse me, my family, and my doctor. Thank you inflammation for making all our lives more interesting.

I'm actually quite tired despite this post sounding like I've had 5 cups of coffee.

This blog has had 400 viewers..pretty cool. Who are you?? Leave me a comment :)

Night!

My new BFF, abdominal cramps

If there's one thing I can count on lately, it's getting nightly cramps and/or nausea. It's getting annoying. Last night I was out for dinner with my parents, and after I had got about half way though my meal my abdomen exploded with cramps so bad that I had to undo my jeans button and lean back in my chair. It didn't get better, and when we left I walked to the car hunched over. This has been happening almost every night for the past week, including tonight while I am typing this. Usually it's not so sudden as last night, but it's there. It started as nightly nausea but now it seems that cramps have come along for the ride too. I'll mention it to my doctor when I see him Tuesday. I haven't heard back about my MRI appointment yet, so I don't know if he will prescribe me anything. If I was taking Pentasa like he told me to, could all this be avoided? I'm leaning towards no. I feel sort of like a bad student who isn't doing her homework. I'm almost a bit embarrassed to tell him on Tuesday that I haven't taken it like he told me to. Oh well. I haven't been taking Tylenol for the pain but really, that doesn't do much either. My life these days is full of useless drugs. Guess it's that or the evil monster drug.

My yoga classes are going mostly well. Last Wednesday I felt really sick during my class tho. I think it was partly due to the fact that I was super tired (I didn't have my daily coffee), and partly from these night pains. I was struggling to finish the class, feeling very nauseous. It may also have been because I had gone to class 2 days in a row (Sun & Mon) so maybe it was too soon to be back in practice. Maybe my body needed more time to break from me pushing it too much.

Heading to bed now. Goodnight!

1 year ago

So about 1 year ago I was at the hospital with cramps that led to the discovery of my crohns. Even tho it's been less than a year since diagnosis, the impact it's had on my life makes me feel like I've had it much much longer. It's hard to remember living my life without it on my mind.

For the time being, I'm just taking pentasa (but to be honest I haven't taken it for 2 days..I find it so difficult to remember). I feel nauseous pretty much every night now. I get some cramps on my left side, which is weird, but I will make sure to tell my doc about that. On Wednesday I'm getting bloodwork (this will be my 3rd time in 2 weeks) and an ultrasound. No word yet on when my MRI will be.

I went to yoga today. I feel like I'm starting to get into it more, feeling better with the stretches and letting my mind go. I found it much easier to do those things when I went when I was younger, but since I started back this time my mind has been cluttered and found it difficult to get through class. I was doing some research on yoga and crohn's and came across as article about a woman who suffered from severe crohn's all her life and thought she was at the point where she would die. Then she started to do yoga and it helped her like no drug could. Interesting article. You can read it here.

I have been watching New Girl the past 4/5 days catching up on the whole series. Honestly, it is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. Every episode kills me. I am going to go finish watching it now :)

Good night!

Another reason to hate Prednisone

I have come to the conclusion that prednisone really is the best/worst drug ever in the history of drugs.

Best- because it makes you better right away (in my case anyway)
Worst - hahahahahah. Well if you've been reading my blog you know about all the wonderful side effects, so no need to repeat them here. While all have gone away by now except for the weight gain, I have realized I am most likely experiencing another right now: post-prednisone depression

I've googled it and apparently it's a thing. While I was on the drugs I had up and down emotions. Often I felt really down, but I thought that it would go away. I know it's been quite bad for a month or two now, I would guess around the time when my rage and hunger decreased. I would get really sad and think about everything in my life that sucked. It's been happening more and more lately. Weekends are usually the worst, I think because I don't have work to distract me for half the day. To my family reading this- I'm sure this is just a side effect, and that I am actually fine. I am going to discuss this with my doctor when I see him in 2 weeks. See, right now I'm ok. Last night, different story. Sobbed my eyes out. Truly tho, I feel like I am a generally miserable person these days. I don't feel like going out. I feel like I am forcing myself to act ok and smile at work when really I just want to come home to bed. I guess I'm still able have fun when I do go do things, but it's hard to remember those times now when I am so used to feeling sad and crappy. I hardly do the things I used to do to make myself happy (cooking, baking, nail polish). Even yoga seems like a chore now. Today I was going to go, then 30 mins before I decided to not go. Granted I felt grumbly but I'm sure I would have been fine. Hopefully this goes away soon or my doctor can give me some insight or suggestions. Again, family, I don't mean to worry you about this. This isn't me, it's probably the drug monster holding on for dear life.

Today me and my parents went bowling. It was fun, especially since we really never ever hang out together. I'm sure that's mostly my fault, since as a teenager I wouldn't be caught dead hanging with them, and then it has been a habit ever since then. But now at 25 it is fun! It was my dad's first time 10 pin bowling, and he sucked the first couple turns and then he ended up winning both games :|

I'm getting sleepy now, probably will sleep soon.
Night!

My fate will have to wait

So my visit to my doctor today was a little anti-climatic compared to the dramatic beginning of the last post. Blood work came back same as last time. I'm booked for an ultrasound next week and he's putting in a request for an MRI at the hospital. We're doing these instead of CT scans (I've had 2 already this past year) and colonoscopies (I don't need to explain why this is a relief). He explained that once he has the results of these he may put me on Imuran with Budesonide, which is a milder steroid. I was taking that steroid October to beginning of December with decent results the first month but crap results the next month. Perhaps it will be more effective with the Imuran. In the meantime, I'm to go back on Pentasa, which in my opinion, is useless.I forget to take them most of the time, and gag when I do remember. But, I will take them for now.

This morning I had another cramp attack on my way into work. What is it with the ride in? Why does my body feel the need to make me want to throw up on everyone and try not to cry on the subway? I already dislike the overall experience of public transportation. Generally I find the whole situation dirty and smelly. Honestly, one train I take is actually smelly! I'm not even being snobby. So anyway, thank you crohns for making my already lovely commute that much better by subjecting me to cramp attacks. Perhaps you want to distract me from my smelly weird co-commuters? Maybe you don't want me to take a nap? I don't know what your deal is but I would really appreciate it if you would stop. Thanks :)

I was going to try to get to an earlier yoga class but my doc appointment ran late. That's the problem with end of the day appointments, you get the brunt of the late start to appointments from the whole day. I will go to yoga in a couple hours. I will I will I will!! ...I hope. I'm kind of tired but I need to get off my butt and work off this weight.

My fate is soon to be revealed...

About me going back on medication, haha.
I joke but this is no laughing matter. I don't want you back prednisone! We are never ever ever getting back together! Ok I am still joking..but seriously. I don't want it. But, we will see.

I've been grumpy and down lately. I thought my bad moods were from the prednisone before, but I've been off it for 2 weeks now and my grump level is beyond any bad moods I would have had before the medication. Winter blues? Feeling sorry for myself? Frustrated with my life? All of the above?

Yesterday my dad said "there's no use crying over spilled milk". Ironically, I did actually spill milk. As a matter of fact I spilled an entire bag of milk all over the fridge and floor yesterday approximately half a second before I was leaving for work. My cat came by and graciously helped me clean it up by licking it off the floor. So you can guess what a lovely day I had after a start like that. Today was better tho.

I'll update tomorrow after my doc appointment.

Bye!

I Heart Soup

Yes, it's true. I LOVE SOUP! Its a somewhat recent development. Since I was diagnosed and became scared to eat most things, I started making soup a lot. My favourite is cream of asparagus. As a matter of fact, I have a steaming delicious bowl of it in front of me right now ;) yum yum yum! I've made asparagus soup probably over 10 times this past year, and tonight's is the best. They're always super yummy but tonight's is better. Maybe its the 3 leeks I added...shhh don't tell my dad (haha he reads this). Well dad, if you already had some and liked it, maybe you will stop being a baby about leeks now!

Today I went to the mall with my mom to get what I dub "fat pants". As I no longer fit into most of my work pants (except for one gloriously stretchy comfortable pair), I needed to get some new ones. My go-to store didn't have the size I needed...but of course they had my old size. Moving on...we went to another store and found lots of pants in the size I needed. I went into the change room and had the discovery that they have elastic waistbands...SCORE! They are super comfy, stretchy, and the waistband will allow me to grow if my new stint on prednisone decides to blow me up like a balloon even more!

I went to yoga today. I'm doing my best to go 3 times a week. Hopefully it will help me lose the weight I gained the past 4 months and help prevent me from gaining more if I start pred again.

My mom doesn't want me to go on it and is encouraging me to ask my doctor for alternative routes to bring down the inflammation this time. I agree, but if it's that or the big stuff perhaps I can give prednisone one more shot at working. Also, my decision will be based on how long he thinks I will be on it again. I do not want to be on it for longer than I did last time, 10 weeks felt like a lifetime. My friend is coming with me this time, she's pretty good about making sure I ask all my questions.

It's Saturday night and we're deciding what to do. Last night we had a fun filled night of quadratic function homework haha. It's crazy how much I remember once I look through the material a bit. Too bad most other things in my life are forgotten too easily. Is losing my mind part of crohns? haha

Going to catch up on Pretty Little Liars now. Have a good weekend :)