2 more weeks...and then?

It’s been a while since I last wrote. Not much has changed, still feeling mostly good. I get some random cramps in my right side, and I battled a monsterous headache last Friday and Saturday. I basically slept on and off Saturday in my room with the curtains closed. Very exciting weekend!

I’m at work right now. There’s supposed to be a snowstorm tonight and tomorrow, boo! I don’t even care about the snow, I just don’t want to battle traffic to get to work.

Yesterday I went down to 10mg of Prednisone, which means only 2 weeks left! I have mixed feelings about this, about how my body will deal with being on its own again. Will it flare up immediately? Later? Never…? ;) I like the last one! But we all know this is a chronic disease and that is highly unlikely. But please, Crohns, stay away for a while. I am enjoying feeling good and eating proper food.

My moonface is starting to go away, but it’s not 100% gone yet. Hopefully it doesn’t take too long. Belly is still there and the hump. These are only physical side effects left tho, at least I’m not trapped in a crazed mind haha.

I’ve been taking it easy, relaxing after work and catching up on shows. Last night I mixed it up a bit, watched How I Met Your Mother, Raising Hope, and the Lying Game. Once I get home from work I don’t really get up until it’s time for bed. As much as its lovely and comfortable to do that, I don’t think its helping with my weight and belly situation. I really need to get going on the exercising. I haven’t been back to the gym in over 2 weeks, oops? This weekend I will sign up for yoga. I will!!!...maybe.

I was just reminded of this mind numbing ridiculous thing we have to prepare for the auditors here at work. They ask us for the same things over and over and come up with the craziest requests. Lucky for them my emotions and anger are in check these days or I might say something!

A nice weekend

I've had a nice weekend. Today was a bit exhausting, but it was good overall.

Yesterday I was kind of lazy during the day. Stayed in my pj's until 4pm..made some applesauce with my mom. I went out for coffee with my friend to our favourite coffee place after dinner. We had Nescafe and Frappe (greek coffee of course!) but decaf since it was getting later at night. Hopefully in a few months we will be drinking greek coffee in Greece ;)

Today my mom and I went out to get some stuff and then my little neighbour/sister I never had came over to do some baking with me and she also brought her homework with her. We made mac and cheese with ham and red velvet cupcakes. Our first attempt at icing was a flop (thanks Betty Crocker??) but our second attempt, cream cheese icing, recipe given by my friend turned out fantastic and delicious. I got a lot of icing sugar on me at first tho haha. 

After my neighbour left I managed to make some dinner. At that point I was dead tired but my mom was busy doing tax things so I got up off my bum to do it. I tried a potato and spinach casserole I found online, and some chicken breasts. This recipe is a bit of a test to see how I deal with spinach, as it seems that when ever I've had blood in the past couple months, I've also had spinach in the day or so beforehand. Doc says it's probably not that, but I might as well test it. If a bleed then I know, and if I don't, I got a tasty meal out of it.

Tomorrow night I'm going out for dinner with some of my college friends and some friends we met in Cancun a couple years back. We're going to a restaurant where you eat in the dark. I've been a couple times before and really enjoy the experience.

I've been feeling good this weekend, except for feeling bloated last night started around 8pm. It went away but a small tummy ache came back around 10. Not too bad, I say. 

3.5 more weeks of prednisone! Yay!

Warm cuddles

Tonight I am cuddling with my trusty heating pad, catching up on shows. On my way home I felt like I needed to pee, which turned into a pain/cramp because I needed to go so bad, and when I finally got home from work it seems that it was more than that. It's a real mood killer to be feeling great for so long and then seeing blood. Not a lot..but it's not normal, and it tells me that not everything is perfect inside. 

Last time I went to the doctors I had blood just before I saw him and he didn't seem concerned since my inflammation mark was basically non-existent. He told me if it keeps up to let him know. I'll see how the next couple days go before I give him a call. I've been reading a book called Foul Bowel by John Bradley, which is a great book by the way, and it seemed that he was good on higher doses of prednisone, but symptoms came back when he tapered to lower levels. Maybe that's the case for me too. But who knows. (On a side note, this book has me laughing hard quite often, mostly on the subway in public. But I don't care)

Miserable nights like this at least are getting me to relax and stop being on the go so much. I know I've been going to bed too late all week, perhaps this could just be my body telling me to slow down and take better care.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Still feeling good :)

Good Morning!

It’s been almost a week since the amazing doctors appointment. I’ve continued to feel well, plus the mental boost of just knowing I’m good on the inside definitely helps. My doctor told me to eat fruits and veggies, so this past Sunday I ate a salad. It was fabulous! I was worried after how I would feel, though. No pains, but it was a little more difficult in the bathroom then normal. I had a small salad with lunch again yesterday, and today I brought cucumbers and carrots. I’m still a bit iffy about skins on apples, potatoes, etc, and oranages, so I’ll stay away from that for now.

I’ve noticed that the side effects from the prednisone is starting to tone down, thank god! I haven’t had crazy anger for a couple weeks, my emotions aren't out of whack, and my insatiable hunger has disappeared. I am happy to say I can go a day without snacking! Just eating my normal meals is good enough for me now. It’s nice to not have food on my mind 24/7. Now to work off my belly…haha.

Tomorrow is 4 weeks left on the wonderful/evil pills! I’m excited and scared to find out how my body will react on its own. Will it flare up again? Will it be ok for a while?

I’ve been having some pains on my left side, randomly over than past day and a half. Not sure what it is. It’s not intense, its just there a bit. If it keeps up or gets worse I’ll go to my family doctor.

It’s a quiet day at work. It’s sooo cold outside and tomorrow will be worse, so not looking forward to that.

Bye for now!

Best GI visit ever!

Today I took the day off work and had a visit with my GI. After 9 months of battling with inflammation...4 weeks of prednisone has killed it! My level is at 2, where a 7 or 8 is normal. I've been up and down anywhere between 15-51 these past 9 months. THANK YOU PREDNISONE!!! Although I generally hate you and your side effects, you get the job done!

This was my first visit with my doctor alone, but I didn't have my mom or friend available to me at the time. I was a bit nervous but I came prepared with a list of things I wanted to discuss, and it turned out to be a very good visit. I guess good news helps everyone relax. We had a good conversation about what we will be doing going forward after I'm done with the prednisone (5 weeks!) and talked a lot about foods. As I mentioned before, food is very very confusing to us with IBD. I asked him his opinion on food causing flares (no), do symptoms mean I am damaging my body or is it just pain (no damage). 

I made him tell me a solid do not eat list: seeds, popcorn, no steak, no raw meat (I told him I tried raw salmon and he asked me to please not eat that, incase I get an infection), avoid high fatty foods, and high carbs. 

Yes to fish, chicken, veggies (he said to eat salad..so I will try. This will take some time), take omega 3 and probiotics. He also gave me a 2 week supply of my probiotics Align, which is awesome because it costs about $40 every 4 weeks. 

Overall, a good visit! Now to see how my intestines do when they're off the meds. I'm a little worried that this is just a temporary fix, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

On my way back home from the doctors I popped into my old jobs to say hi to my old coworkers I haven't seen in a while. Everyone said I've gained weight and my cheeks are chubby. I took it well, it's true anyway. But I was also told that I look a lot better, which is great because usually they tell me I look tired and stressed. 

I'm off to check on my pumpkin muffins that are in the oven (thanks Nanny for the silicone baking cups, using them now!) Bye for now!

:)

Cooking for Crohn's

It is seriously insane how my mood goes up and down. Today's been great! Busy but smooth day at work (which means it went by pretty quick!), then I went to the gym for the cardio dance class which I love, and made some yummy gnocchi with spinach and pesto for lunch tomorrow. I ate a bit...you know, to make sure it was good enough to take for lunch...haha

I've been making a lot of homemade food recently. Actually, up until this summer I barely cooked. And by barely I mean I didn't know how, except for a few basics. My mom isn't really into cooking, so I was never taught. Since I was diagnosed 8 months ago, I have become much more aware of what foods I'm putting in my body. I neverrrr eat fast food anymore. I go to restaurants very rarely. And I cook pretty much all my foods fresh. 

My diet had to change when I was diagnosed. Gone were the days of snacking on fresh fruits and veggies, salads, nuts, popcorn, etc. I like finding recipes online that allow me to have yummy meals that won't cause me problems. (There's the tricky part- does food cause symptoms and flares?! Again...confusing! I'll always be confused!)

I'll admit I've gone a little overboard. My friend thinks I've gone nuts, and I'll give her that. I've even made my own yogurt and bread, which is a little over the top but pretty decent skill to have if you ask me! The yogurt doesn't turn out as smooth as store bought (which I only eat plain these days, checking the label to make sure there hardly any ingredients), but the bread turned our really well! Even my dad said it was better than the store loaves. Lately I've been making a lot of mac & cheese, experimenting with add-ins. So far I've tried kielbasa, ham, and cauliflower. I enjoyed the last 2 the most. My mom's side of the family is half polish, and I've gone there 3 times. I've made pierogies, pork, chicken, potato and cheese...honestly, store bought pierogies are an abomination. Look up a recipe and make some fresh, or find a Polish store and get some there. You can thank me later.

I've made applesauce the past 2 weekends. Since the apples are cooked, it has been ok for me to eat. It's been nice, my mom and I sit down at the table and peel apples for a while and talk. And then the house smells delicious while the cinnamon covered apples cook for an hour. This past weekend I added some maple syrup in...yum! I've made apple butter in the past (just let the applesauce cook longer until the water absorbs) and pumpkin butter as well.

Soups are my favourite thing to make because they're really tasty and so easy on the tummy, which is important for those days when your not feeling great.They're all pureed, but mostly have a thicker consistency so you feel pretty full when your done eating. Some that I've tried are:

• Cream of asparagus
• Asparagus and leek
• Potato and leek
• Potato and onion
• Butternut squash
• Sweet potato

I wasn't a huge fan of the sweet potato, but it was pretty thick and I might have used too much potato or not enough liquid. 

One yummy easy dinner I made a couple months ago was baked eggs. I saw a picture in instagram and winged it. I took a muffin pan, put whatever sandwich meat I had in the fridge (it was ham) into the cups, layered a few pieces of spinach down, then carefully cracked an egg into each cup. I sprinkled a little salt and pepper, and topped it with some cheese. Popped that in the oven for about 18 minutes...at 350? not 100% on the temperature. As long as the egg is cooked, it's done. Really tasty!

As I find new ideas, I'll write it in my posts.

Time for bed!
 

Feeling down

The last couple days I've been feeling kind of down. Today's no exception, the only difference being I'm at home with my thoughts instead of at work keeping busy. I feel like I'm in a rut and don't know what's happening with my life, what direction I'm heading, what things will be like a year from now. 

My best friend is home right now which is massively helpful, but she is leaving in a month or so for a while. I'll see her at some point because I will take a trip, but I don't get out of my house much otherwise. And when she leaves I won't have the option of going over to her place. I don't like to spend my money too often because I have an addiction to leaving the country for preferably a month a year for Europe, and I need to save for that. My dream is to move to Europe; I've wanted this for years. Money gets in the way, resident visas, and now my health. It's a very frustrating situation for me.

I blame the prednisone right now for my feelings. I admit I have these thoughts without being on the meds but I can generally deal with them better. I used to speak with my friends over in Greece quite often but they don't come online much anymore, and when they do it seems like we've grown apart. Talking with them used to help me feel connected to the life I wanted. So no talking with them...best friend leaving....my body is turning into this thing I don't recognize...other things I can't even put into words...it just sucks.

I went to the gym today and felt pretty dumb. I guess that's the idea they're going for to sucker you into getting a personal trainer to help you learn how to use everything. I got a 2 month pass for $24 and the guy tried to offer me a something like an 11 month membership with personal training for $190 bimonthly. Riiiiight. But he put me in a mood feeling like I don't know how to take care of my body and get it to where I want. I know prednisone messes with body fat but I know I needed to work out before I started it. While yes, my pregnant looking belly should go away once the meds stop, I'm still won't look how I want.

These gym thing stresses me out. It's too macho body builder in there. I'm uncomfortable and told him so. Which sparks even more suggestions that if I have a trainer, it will be better.

I also tried to explain to him that I know I eat too much and need to stop my snacking. He said that I should find healthy snacks. I said I can't eat fruits and veggies, and he just didn't get it. He thought I didn't like them and I said no I have trouble digesting them and it can make me sick. Cue the "uhhhh...so maybe I should set you up with a nutritionist.." Thanks buddy, I have one. It's not helping.

In clothes I usually don't feel too bad (not at the moment of course, but in general). The problems arise if I need to be in a bathing suit and I feel really lumpy. Once I'm in Greece and I have the mental high of being in my perfect place, I usually don't care too too much, but I don't like pictures if I'm not feeling confident.

What I think I want is to get a membership with hot yoga. That is where I feel comfortable and happy and it relaxes me. Relaxing is important for us with IBD..if your in a stressful situation it can cause a flare. Yoga is just great all around, and makes me feel good about my body after I go a couple times. Problem is that it is soooo expensive and my work benefit would only cover 4 months. But I'm going to consider it, since going to the gym doesn't seem like my cup of tea.

This post was a downer, I know. It helps to have a rant though, I feel slightly better. It's a beautiful day today (somehow 12 in January??! Usually about -10 now) so maybe I will head outside for some fresh air. 

Bye for now